Johnny's Love Life
by greaserbabes
Summary: Johnny Cade has just had enough of the bullshit. / slash, yes he's gay. Johnnyboy? Jally? Idk
1. chapter 1

I, Johnny Cade, have a girl crush. Not a crush on a girl, but a girl crush.

Her name is Nanette Hughs, and she is Ponyboy's girlfriend. God, how bad I want to be her. I want everything she has. I want to be the one who laughs with Pony. I want to be the one that tells him he's beautiful. I want it all.

I watch her across the room in envy as she pushes Pony's ungreased hair back and smiles happily at him. I can see how in love Pony is, which makes me grimace. If only he looked at me how he looked at her. I tear my eyes away from them and stand up. I shouldn't have come here. Pony invited me over, but didn't think to mention that she would be over as well.

Now he's completely ignoring me, which isn't really unusual. We haven't talked in forever. Nanette doesn't like me, and it's obvious that she keeps him from seeing me. "I'm gonna head out of here." I mumble and walk to the door.

"You're leaving?" I hear Pony say.

I nearly roll my eyes. "Yeah, why do you care?" I snap, but instantly feel bad. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that harsh."

"Where are you going?" He asks while frowning.

I shrug. "I don't know. Home I guess." It was better than having to sit here being the third wheel.

"Home?" He says in what sounds like disbelief. "But what about--"

"I can take a hit, Ponyboy. Maybe you've forgotten." This time I do roll my eyes. I don't need him to try and take care of me. I'm fine in my own, I always have been.

Nanette kisses Pony's neck slowly. "Just let him go baby," she says as if I'm not even in the room. "he's just distracting us."

Pony opens his mouth to speak but I beat him to it. "Why the fuck did you invite me over Ponyboy?" I clench my fists and try to keep a steady voice. "So I could watch the two of you shove each other's tongues down your throat? I thought we were finally gonna get to hang out today, like old times. But I guess we're not friends anymore, huh? It'll never be like old times." I stare him down. "Do you realize how much you torture me? I wanted to be the one you kissed. I wanted to be the one you couldn't live without. But it's whatever. I didn't expect that to happen, but I didn't think you'd be so 'in your face' with your girlfriend." The both of them are quiet. I've no doubt surprised them. Hell, I surprised myself. I don't know when the last time I talked that much was. Pony has an obvious shocked expression on his face, and Nanette is looking at me with a sneer. Behind me, the door opens, and in steps Dally.

"Hey y'all, is.." he trails off, noticing all of our expressions. "What the hell happened?"

I stare at Dally, and one impulsive decision later, my lips are pressed against his. He doesn't seem shocked, and he doesn't try to pull away. But he doesn't really kiss back either. With my lips still on his, I flip off Ponyboy and lead me and him out of the house, slamming the door behind me. I pull away from him and lean against the wall, hiding my face. "Dallas just go ahead and kill me." I say softly. "I don't even care."

He sighs. "I ain't gonna kill you, but can I ask what the fuck that was? It really caught me off guard."

I look up at him and shrug. "I don't know. I guess I just got so sick of constantly seeing Nanette and Pony, that I just kinda snapped. I had liked Pony for he longest time, and tonight I was done with his shit. He invited me over to hang out and then didn't speak one word to me. I was so damn jealous. When I saw you, I thought that, maybe..maybe he would know how I felt. But of course he'd have to actually like me to know how I felt, so there was no point in kissing you."

He stares at me for a long time before finally speaking, and when he does, all he says is, "Kid, if you were anybody else, I would have murdered ya."

"Yeah," I sigh. "I know..I'm sorry I took advantage of that fact. It was wrong of me."

"Whatever." He licks his lips, almost as if he were nervous. "I admire ya for standing up for yourself." He leans in close to me. "You know, maybe Pony is jealous.."

His hot breath is right up against my neck, causing me to shiver slightly. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. And maybe you're too hung up on him. Maybe ya wanna just let loose for a night?" He kisses my cheek softly, which bewilders me since I didn't know Dallas was capable of doing anything with gentleness. It also doesn't make sense, because Dally doesn't like boys. He seems to understand my hesitance, because he says, "I wanna let loose Johnny. Just for one night." I don't fight it anymore, and let myself kiss him. This time he kisses back, and let's his hands travel down to my waist. He pulls me off of the Curtis' porch and over to his car. He breaks the kiss to open my door, and then gets in on his side.

He sits with his hands on the steering wheel for a few seconds, just staring ahead. "Dally?" I ask quietly. He turns to look at me, and leans in, kissing my lips. We break apart and he begins driving. I know we're going to Buck's, but I don't know what his intentions are for tonight. I wrestle with a few scenarios in my head, before finally just accepting that whatever happens tonight, I'll just go along with it, regardless if it's what I want. I'm powerless against Dally.

We arrive at Buck's and Dallas drags me up the stairs and into his room. His lips find mine and I don't hesitate to kiss him back. I do enjoy this. Kissing Dally gives me a weird, high, feeling. I like it and I want to keep kissing him. His hands rub circles on my waist and we fall back onto the bed. I don't care what he does to me. I've been starved of affection my entire life, and I need this. I need someone to love on me. I don't care if it only is a fling. I'm sick of being alone.

I run my hands along his hard muscles, which makes me laugh just a bit because I don't remember him removing his shirt. We're moving so fast. We kiss and grope and it all feels so nice. Then all at once it stops. Dallas pulls away, leaving me confused. He crawls under the covers and pulls me close to him. I pant lightly and latch into to him, as if I might slip away if he's not holding me.

"Dally?" My voice come out breathy, and he shushes me quietly.

"Go to sleep Johnny." He says roughly, but I know he isn't mad. Dally pulls me closer, his breath right on my neck.

I sigh and relax, happy to do what he says.


	2. Chapter 2

I wake up slowly; stretching and yawning. It's still dark outside, to my surprise. Immediately I feel a strange sense. Something like I'm at peace for the moment, but I know it's only a distraction from my true feelings. The memories of last night are fresh in my mind, and I try not to let myself care. Ponyboy should be out of the picture by now. No, not him. I should be out of the picture. I blew up on him, and subsequently outed myself, and then forced Dally to kiss me. Well, the first kiss was forced. The rest were his idea, and they were long, slow, and passionate. But it was weird. It didn't feel passionate as in romantic, more so just comforting. I turn to look at Dallas, only to find him already awake, and staring at me. "When'd you wake up?" I ask.

He turns over on his back and shruggs. "Not that long ago. Phone kept ringing, woke me up. Probably what woke you up too." His voice is deep and rough, obviously filled with sleep. He stares at the ceiling for a little bit longer before speaking. "God I wish I had a weed. Left them all in the car. Meant to bring them in, but-"

"I can get it," I sit up. "just tell me where at in the car and I'll get them."

"You're okay walking outside by yourself?" He asks, but his tone of voice implies that he doesn't really care. It's more like he's making fun of me. "I know you jump at your own shadow." He mocks me again. Im confused and unsure why he's acting like this towards me, but I try to brush it off.

"Yeah I'll be fine." I nod and turn, walking out the door. I guess it's around midnight, but that doesn't stop people from being inside the bar, doing stuff like drinking and gambling. It was quieter than normal, but this is about as quiet as Buck's place got. It was rarely empty. There was always someone here.

I slip outside, shivering at the cold air, and open up Dally's car. Well, it was one of Buck's, but Dally drove it, and he didn't like anybody else driving it. I look around, not able to find the pack of cigarettes. I check the glove box, dash board, and the sun visor. When I pull down the visor, something fluttered down to my lap. I pick it up and see that it's a picture. I would have thought it was a picture that was in here even before Dally started driving the car, except it was a photo of me and Dally. I remember when it had been taken, way back when the Curtis parents were still alive. I guess I was around six or seven.

It was Halloween, and my parents hadn't cared enough to get me a costume. I was pretty upset about it, especially when I had went over to their house and seen that everyone else had a costume. I guess that Dally had noticed, because he talked to Mrs. Curtis for a few minutes in the kitchen and then came out with a white sheet, a marker, and scissors. "C'mere Johnny, I'll make you a costume." My face broke out into a grin as he threw the sheet on top of me. "Where are your eyes.." he mumbled. "Oh here they are." He drew a circle around them.

I flipped up the sheet to where you could see my face, but it was still resting on top of my head. "Gee thanks Dal. This'll be the best Halloween ever." I never talked back then, so a sentence that long was real good for me.

Mrs. Curtis walked over with a camera. "Johnny, Dally, smile." I gave a shy grin and Dally just gave his New York stare. Even when he was seven, he was still cold and mean. That was one of the last times I had seen Dally before he moved back to New York for a little bit.

I miss that day. Things were simpler back then. I sigh and put the photograph back where I found it, continuing to look for the pack of Kools. I spot it in the floorboard, grab them, and hurry back inside. When I walk back in the room, Dally frowns at me. "What the hell took you so long?"

"I found that old picture of us in the car." I smile and hand him the pack.

"Why were you snooping around?" He sits up and glares. "I meant to throw that away long time ago. Guess I just got lazy. You don't take that as anything, because it didn't mean nothing."

"I-I wasn't snooping..I was looking for the cigarettes Dal. You didn't tell me where at in the car they were."

"Whatever. Just get out." He lights one a takes a few puffs. "Aren't you listening?" He scowls. "Get out! Go! Bother someone else for a change."

My mouth parted a bit in shock. I never meant to bother anybody, but of course that's what I ended up doing. I shouldn't even be surprised. I mumble a soft, 'I'm sorry.' and leave Buck's house. Somehow it felt even colder outside, and I dreaded that I would have to sleep in the lot. It was a long walk back there too. I guess I'll just have to grit my teeth and bare it. It's not like I've got that many options, seeing as I can't possibly go back to the Curtis' after what I had done.

I sit down on the ground after making a small fire. The heat it provided wasn't nearly enough to keep me warm, but it was still better than nothing. I tuck my knees up to my chin and try to take my mind off things. This proves to be an extremely hard task, though, since I've screwed up a lot of things tonight. Just forget about it for now. I tell myself, and desperately try to do so.

"Johnny?" Pony's voice breaks me out of my thoughts. I turn around and see him hunched over and rubbing his arms, attempting to keep warm as well. "I've been looking for you all night." He sits next to me. "I looked in the lot and the park. I even called Buck's place to see if you were there, but no one answered. I had given up already but I saw the light from a fire, and figured that had to be you."

I laugh lightly. "You were the one calling..Dally mentioned that the phone ringing is what woke him up."

"So you were at Buck's.." he sighs, and touches his cheek carefully.

It takes me a second to see the dark shade of purple that is developing on the top of his cheekbone. "What happened there?"

"I uh.." his eyes flicker to my own and then back to the fire. "I checked by your house.."

My mouth drops open. "My dad did that to you?" I turn his face towards me so I can get a good look at it. It's not too big, but it does look kinda gross. "Geez Pony. I'm sorry." I groan and hide my face in my hands.

"It's fine." He shrugs and then shivers. "Look I wanted to apologize to you. I shouldn't have invited Nanette over. She asked and..I guess I couldn't say no. She's controlling and I need to learn to stand up for myself." I look up at him, having almost forgotten about our little fight. "And," he continues. "I shouldn't have been so ignorant about you liking me. I'm sorry for that, I really am."

"I shouldn't have blamed you for that." I sigh. "There's no way you could have known."

Pony focuses on the ground for a few minutes before looking back up at me. "I don't want you to have to sleep in thec lot, come over to my house." Before I can protest, he extinguishes my fire and we walk to his house.


End file.
